Catholic Dating: Not wanting to be “that guy”

In recent posts I’ve been sharing my thoughts about the question often asked by Catholic females, “Why doesn’t that nice Catholic boy ask me out?”

In my last post I wrote about how the fear of rejection plays a significant part in the answer to this question. In addition, I suggested that a warped sense of Christian masculinity contributes to the problem and that all this is exacerbated by the close communal nature of faith groups.

Today I’d like to continue looking at this issue and examine briefly another of the reasons why Catholic guys tend not to ask out Catholic girls as often as they perhaps should. In today’s post I would propose that guys sometimes fail to do so because they don’t want to be that guy.

In each Catholic community I’ve belonged to, there has always been that guy. You know who I mean? I’m talking about the player. He’s the guy who’s always scanning the pews at the Young Adult Mass or Bible Study, keeping an eye out for any new arrivals. As soon as a new girl turns up, you can guarantee he’ll be the one jumping in to offer her a warm welcome to the parish…which’ll quite likely involve a dinner and a romantic drive by sunset beach…

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Mere Christianity – Book I (Summary)

Book 1
You can look at my more detailed notes, but this is an overview of the content of Book I of “Mere Christianity”…

Preface

Quotations

Mere Christianity

…I have thought that the best…service I could do for my unbelieving neighbours was to explain and defend the belief that has been common to nearly all Christians at all times…So far as I can judge…the book…did at least succeed in presenting an agreed, or common, or central, or ‘mere’ Christianity…it may possibly be of some help in silencing the view that, if we omit the disputed points, we shall have left only a vague and bloodless [Highest Common Factor]. The H.C.F. turns out to be something not only positive but pungent”

Omitted Topics

I should be very glad if people would not draw fanciful inferences from my silence on certain disputed matters…There are questions at issue between Christians to which I do not think we have been told the answer…you cannot even conclude, from my silence on disputed points, either that I think them important or that I think them unimportant. For this is itself one of the disputed points…I have a reluctance to say much about temptations to which I myself am not exposed…

The Roman Catholic beliefs on that subject are held not only with the ordinary fervour that attaches to all sincere religious belief, but…with…chivalrous sensibility that a man feels when the honour of his mother or his beloved is at stake…contrariwise…Protestant beliefs on this subject…it seems that the distinction between Creator and creature (however holy) is imperilled.

[Regarding contraception], I am not a woman nor even a married man, nor am I a priest. I did not think it my place to take a firm line about pains, dangers and expenses from which I am protected; having no pastoral office which obliged me to do so.

The name “Christian”

When a word ceases to be a term of description and becomes merely a term of praise, it no longer tells you facts about the object: it only tells you about the speaker’s attitude to that object… A gentleman, once it has been spiritualised and refined out of its old coarse, objective sense, means hardly more than a man whom the speaker likes

The Hall Analogy

It is more like a hall out of which doors open into several rooms…it is in the rooms, not in the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals. The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in…you must be asking which door is the true one; not which pleases you best by its paint and panelling…Are these doctrines true: Is holiness here?…be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall. If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them. That is one of the rules common to the whole house

Questions

1. Why does Jack say that this book not help someone decide between two different denominations? Why did he write the book in this way?

2. Was it a good idea to leave out controversial topics? Why does he say he does this? Do you think this hampers the book?

3. How would you define “Christian”? How does Jack define it? Do you think this is a sufficient definition?

4. Do you find Jack’s “Hall and rooms” analogy helpful when talking about different denominations? What advice does he give for interacting with Christians of other denominations? What do you disagree with and what advice would you add?

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The Torah and Injil are for mankind!

I’ve often been told that the Torah and the Injil were only for the Jews. However, two problems:

  1. The Qur’an never explicitly tells the Jews to follow the Injil, only the Christians
  2. The Qur’an actually describes both as “guidance for mankind”, even if the translations often try to obscure this:

The Pickthall translation doesn’t hide it:

He hath revealed unto thee (Muhammad) the Scripture with truth, confirming that which was (revealed) before it, even as He revealed the Torah and the Gospel. Aforetime, for a guidance to mankind; and hath revealed the Criterion (of right and wrong). Lo! those who disbelieve the revelations of Allah, theirs will be a heavy doom. Allah is Mighty, Able to Requite (the wrong). – Qur’an 3:3

Lectionary Notes Update

The Past

For the last few weeks I have not been pleased with the quality of the Lectionary Notes I’ve produced. They have seemed terse and inadequate and, even to produce notes of this mediocre quality, have consumed a substantial amount of time during my week.

As you may have noticed, no notes were posted this week…

Empty Book

The Present

Recently I have been trying to cut down on activities in an attempt to get a little bit more balance in my life. I haven’t felt that I’ve been doing justice to all my different responsibilities by spreading myself so thinly.

burn candle at both ends

The Future

I’ve therefore decided to no longer produce Lectionary Notes each week (Don’t worry though, I won’t be Vandapooling!). However, despite this news, I am not planning to give up these notes either completely or permanently

I originally began producing the notes for whomever was leading Bible study at the JP2 Group. Since most members of this Young Adult group have now led Bible study several times, I will now only produce my notes if the person leading that week is leading for the first time. For those more experienced leaders, I will simply point them to my Lectionary Resources post.

Over the lifetime of this blog I have produced commentary for forty-two different Sundays which, if one includes the vigils and feast days, is approximately 18% of the Lectionary. It would be great to reach 100% coverage, writing a complete commentary for the entire Lectionary. If the Lord grants me the years and the opportunity, I would love to pick it up regularly once again and complete it…

PWJ: S2E14 – TGD 9 – “The Grumbler and The Artist”

Last week we began looking at Chapter 9. It’s an action-packed chapter so we decided to discuss it over the course of two episodes. As we finish the chapter we discuss two of the ghosts whom Lewis sees: The Grumbling Ghost and The Artistic Ghost…

S2E14: “The Grumbler and the Artist” (Download)

If you enjoy this episode, you can subscribe manually, or any place where good podcasts can be found (iTunesGoogle PlayPodbeanStitcherTuneIn and Overcast).

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Hints & Guesses

The album “Hints & Guesses” is the first full-length album from Alanna-Marie Boudreau, a young musician from New York who was recently touring here in San Diego.  About a month ago I received a copy of Alanna’s new album in advance of its release this September (iTunes, Website), so after a few weeks of listening to the album in my car, I wanted to share my impression of it.

The title of the album comes from a line in a TS Elliot poem, The Four Quartets, which speaks about the glimpses we get of something beautiful and awe-inspiring, but which hasn’t yet been fully revealed. In an interview on her YouTube channel, Alanna compared it to seeing the early morning sunlight before the sun itself has risen, explaining it as “the sense of home-sickness that you can’t really describe”. These are themes to which a restless pilgrim can certainly relate!

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Camino Tips: Equipment

pack

Probably the most important thing to consider when preparing for the Camino is your pack. In assembling mine, I consulted the list of recommendations found in a companion book I had bought, as well as some other lists I found online. Here is a categorized list of everything I carried on my back along the Camino:

Walking Gear
Backpack (with rain sheet)
Waterproof jacket
Waterproof trouser/pants covers
Hat (for sun/rain)
Sunglasses
Suntan lotion (SPF 30+)
Buff Headwear (great for keeping the sun off your neck)
Trainers/sneakers for exploring the town in the evenings (Optional)

Clothes
Long sleeve (quick-dry) tops x2
T-shirt (quick-dry) x1
Trousers which convert to shorts x2
Underwear x2
Socks x4
A pair of shorts to be used as pyjamas

Sleeping
Sleeping bag (liner)
Inflatable pillow

Washbag
Flip-flops for the shower
Toothpaste/Toothbrush/Floss
Nail clipper
Quick-drying towel

Laundry
Concentrated washing liquid
Scrubba (Optional, but very convenient and a great conversation starter)
Plastic Clothes Pegs

Other
First Aid Kit (Compeed, scissors, band-aids/plasters, tape)
Phone (and charger)
Camino Scallop Shell (Buy in St. Jean)
Camino Guide Book/Maps
$300 in Euros and an ATM card

I’ll be drawing particular attention to some of these items in subsequent posts.

Equipment | Before you leave home | On the road | Staying in Hostels

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