Tag: Catholic Dating

Catholic Dating: Should I date a non-Catholic? (Part 1)

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It has been quite some time since I wrote my series on Catholic dating. Those articles were certainly among the more popular here at Restless Pilgrim. The subject matter of those posts generated considerable discussion in my local Catholic community of San Diego, which pleased me no end since this was my main goal in writing them in the first place. The fact that it was also an extremely cathartic writing experience was just an added bonus! 😉

During the intervening three years since writing that series, my own love life has been, to put it mildly, anything but dull. Despite this, I’ve never felt inclined to write further on the subject of dating. That is, until now…

noncatholic

Over the past few months one particular question concerning dating has come up again and again, particularly as my thoughtful friends attempt to marry me off and enlist me in the ranks of the blissfully domesticated. The question has been “Hey David, what do you think about dating a non-Catholic?”

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Getting that date: Five suggestions

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Date MeSo, a while back I wrote a series of posts on the subject of dating which turned out to be rather popular. People clearly love to read and talk about relationships! At the end of the series, several of my friends asked me if I would be writing more entries, but I told them that I’d already said everything I had to share on the subject.

Well…it turns out that I was wrong, because here I am, a year later, writing another post on the subject of dating. A while back, I had a friend of mine message me and say “I wanna ask someone out. Any ideas for a date and how should I ask her out?” Clearly, word had got around that I now have a beautiful girlfriend and this qualifies me to answer a question of this magnitude!

Seriously though, as I wrote in an earlier article, Catholic guys are generally pretty terrible at asking girls out, so I think it’s worth publishing the answer I gave my friend. Not everyone will agree with what I have to say, but that’s fine, please leave a message in the comment box.

Now, I have not always followed the suggestions I am about to give below, but I wish I had. My advice represents the solution to some of the different kinds of mistakes I’ve made in the past… 🙂

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Catholic Dating: Analysis Paralysis

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This post will be a little longer than usual. Today I will be closing the series by offering some final thoughts on some of the issues I see within the Catholic dating world.

Why is it that there don’t seem to be many Catholic couples dating and, by extension, why is the number of couples receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony plummeting?

As I’ve mentioned before, there are many different, complicated explanations as to why this is so, but today I would like to focus on the subject of analysis paralysis, as well as our attitude towards dating and courtship.

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Catholic Dating: “Pursuit”

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Today’s post may be somewhat controversial, but I’d like to talk about this particular topic because it was an aspect of dating which most infuriated me in my early twenties.

In an earlier post, I spoke about a counterfeit, passive masculinity which one often finds within Christianity. However, thanks to writers such John Elridge and Jason Evert, there has been a growing shift with regards to the expected behaviour of men within the Church.

As a result, the ladies are encouraged to expect a lot more from the guys. Courageous valour, rather than niceness is the order of the day. Related to this, you hear constant mention of one word in particular, “pursuit”.

Pursuit

Today I would like to address some of the potential hazards with the idea of pursuit and suggest what can be done to safeguard against them.

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Catholic Dating: “Discernment”

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Before we get to the subject of today’s post, I wanted to say that I can tell from the site statistics and the conversations I’ve had over the last couple of weeks that a lot of people have been reading these posts. I would like to thank everyone for taking the time out to read this Englishman’s musings on a rather delicate subject.

Additionally, I would just like to encourage everyone to give their two cents in the Comment Box at the end of each article. You don’t have to use your real name or email address if you’d prefer to remain anonymous. It’s perfectly acceptable to submit comments under the name of “Balaam’s Donkey” or with an email address of papa_francis@gmail.com…

It was my hope that publishing this series would spark some much-needed open discussion among our community. I know that conversations certainly have been going on among different groups, but I’d invite everyone to make use of the Comment Box since, if you share your perspective here, you’ll get to enlighten the entire world (wide web)!

Benedict and iPad

“Hey guys, look! A new post at RestlessPilgrim.net!”

So, now that’s been said, let’s get underway with today’s subject. Today will be a short post about another potential cause for confusion in the Catholic dating scene and a reason why guys might sometimes refrain from asking out the lady folk. It is a uniquely Catholic issue, the question of “discernment”.

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Catholic Dating: Occam’s Razor

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Since beginning this series a couple of weeks ago, I have received a lot of positive feedback. This has come almost exclusively from the ladies. Well, let’s see how long that lasts… 😉

So far in my response to the question “Why doesn’t that nice Catholic boy ask me out?”, I have omitted a rather obvious possible answer: he doesn’t want to.

Occam’s Razor states, broadly speaking, that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. So, if a gentleman doesn’t ask out a lady, the simplest explanation is that he’s not sufficiently motivated to do so. It’s tough, I know, but it’s a legitimate explanation.

On the whole, when someone wants something, he seeks it out. If he doesn’t, then the chances are that he doesn’t really want it enough. So, in general, if a guy really wants to ask a girl out, he will. If he doesn’t, then he won’t.

Friendship to Romance?

Why am I saying this and running the risk of offending my female readers?

I’m bringing this up because in the past when I’ve heard the fairer sex complain about a guy’s lack of romantic advances, I’ve sometimes felt that they were willing to accept any explanation other than the simplest answer. These lamentations have sometimes turned into complicated defenses for a guy’s apparent lack of romantic attention. Could it just be that he didn’t want to be more than a platonic friend?

He's Just Not That Into You

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