Men’s Ministry Launched

Much of what I had learnt from what the world had been trying to teach me I rejected, but this left a void. I knew what counterfeit masculinity looked like, but what did the real McCoy, what did the authentic masculinity look like? In the Bible my namesake, King David, was described as “a man after God’s own heart”. But what did this look like?

Unfortunately, when I turned to the Church, I didn’t get much help! After twenty years of going to Mass, what was the sum total of my understanding of authentic masculinity? What had I picked up? What was my conclusion concerning the aspiration and goal of every Christian man? It was to be…(brace yourself)…“a nice guy”. A nice guy! Sign me up!

It was fortunate that, around this time, I joined a church which had a thriving Men’s Ministry. There were men’s breakfasts, much like this one. There were men’s retreats. We hung out together, we got together to watch the world cup…

Also, at this time I was also part of a small group. There were about twelve of us, both men and women, and we got together each week for Bible study. Towards the end of each meeting the men and women would separate. The ladies would remain in the living room and the men would go into the kitchen to talk and pray.

Through all these ministries I got to meet some truly great men of God. Men who loved the Lord and wanted to live a life serving Him. I met men who honoured and cherished their wives. Men who did everything within their power to lead by example, to form their children’s character and prepare them for greatness. It was clear to me that the greatest aspiration of these men was not simply be a “nice guy”. Don’t get me wrong, they were true gentlemen, but you would not simply describe them as “nice”. These men were heroic and courageous.

Movie Masculinity

And if we think about the epic movies that we love, we find a consistent theme among the leading men. Consider movies such as “Gladiator” or “Braveheart”. Maximus and William Wallace are warriors. They are passionate and honourable men. They are great leaders, people naturally want to follow them (Seriously, who’d want to follow someone whose greatest achievement was being known as a “nice guy”?!). These men have a very clear distinction between right and wrong, they protect the weak, they fight for what they believe in and are willing to sacrifice themselves to save others.

These days, when I look at the Bible’s description of God I find Someone who is also a warrior. He is passionate and honourable. He is a leader. He has a great sense of justice, He wishes to protect the weak, to fight evil. He too was willing to sacrifice Himself to save others…

If I am made in the image and likeness of God, then this is part of my identity too…

More than just nice guys

Through those Men’s Ministries I saw that God was calling me to be so much more than just simply “a nice guy”. The world is in desperate need of men, real men. Men who know how to love, to sacrifice, to serve and who are willing to stand up and fight for what is right.

Last year, a group of about twenty of us got together and hosted an event which we called “Daughters of the King”. It was a gala evening honouring the women in our community here of San Diego. We had about sixty-five ladies attend: friends, girlfriends, wives, mothers and grandmothers. We decorated a church hall, bought food, prepared a three-course meal and served it to those in attendance. Those of you who were involved will know what a powerful experience this was, both for the ladies who attended (when was the last time they were treated so well?!) and for the men also who served. (And if you’re interested, we will be doing another event like this in February)

But this should not be the exception. This should be the rule. The world needs more courageous men.

Vision for this ministry

A little earlier when I was talking about my experience of different men’s groups and I was talking about the great guys I met, you might have got the impression that everything in these men’s lives was perfect. It wasn’t. People struggled. There were dating problems, marriages were often under a lot of strain. Children were having problems at school. Difficult financial decisions needed to be made. However, a man in that community did not have to do it alone. He had his brothers alongside him, praying for him and with him, encouraging him and cheering him on.

And this is my vision for this ministry: that through meeting together we would begin to discover what kind of men God is calling us to be, that we would hold one another accountable and that we would encourage one another in this journey. It is my hope that, like Abraham, we would each be called a “Friend of God” and, like King David, we would each be called a “man after God’s own heart”.

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I was very tempted to use the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness, but I managed to resist… 😉 Afterwards we broke up into groups to discuss the following questions:

• Who were your male role models growing up?
• When did you first feel like you were a man?
• What has been your perception of Christian masculinity?
• Who is your favourite movie hero?
• What is your vision for this ministry? How do you see this happening?