Attending a Catholic Mass for the first time?
This weekend, a friend of mine will be attending his first Catholic Mass. It got me thinking: What is the best way to prepare someone who will be attending Mass for the first time? What advice might be helpful?
Obviously you’d prepare someone to attend a Catholic Liturgy differently, depending upon the visitor’s religious background. If that person were Eastern Orthodox, he would already have a very good theological grounding to understand the Mass. Depending upon the particular denomination, a Protestant might also understand much, although that’s not guaranteed, particularly if she were from a non-Liturgical tradition. Those of different religions entirely and those with no real exposure to spirituality would likely have a harder time.
As a result of all this, it’s rather hard to write a general, suitable-for-all article for someone going to Mass for the first time. Fortunately, I’ve never let either a difficult challenge or my lack of ability hold me back from trying anything, therefore I’m going to give it a go! So, without further ado, here are my top ten tips for those of you attending Mass for the first time…
1. Turn up in good time
Speaking as someone who has often turned up late for Mass, I can tell you that there are few experiences more awkward than arriving late to church. So, if you don’t want to feel stressed, do yourself a favour and turn up a little early, perhaps fifteen minutes beforehand. Doing this will give you a chance to find a seat, settle in, admire the art, and take in your new surroundings, which may well be very unfamiliar.
Use the remaining time to calm your soul. After all, Catholics claim that, in the Mass, Heaven comes to earth, so it would be good to take a few minutes to quiet yourself and prepare for what you are about to experience.
Not sure where to sit? I’d suggest somewhere in the front third, so you can clearly see everything going on, but you’ve also got some folks in front of you so you can see what they do.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn off your phone as you enter the Church. You don’t want it to be your phone blaring Beyoncé’s “All the single ladies” during a quiet moment of prayer!
2. You won’t understand everything (but that’s okay)
At Mass, we Catholics do things and say things which are likely to seem rather alien to you. Don’t worry, it’ll all become less strange over time. The Mass is based on 2,000 years of Christian theology and practice, and this itself rests on the even older foundation of Judaism.
Things at the Mass are sometimes initially hard to understand because it is so rich and it has so many layers of meaning. For example, consider incense… Incense is used at Mass for a host of reasons. It is symbolic of our prayers rising to God, but it also harkens back to the incense which was offered in the Jerusalem Temple in Ancient Israel.
I can promise you that if you keep coming back each week and start digging into the roots of the Mass, it’ll all start to make sense and you’ll come to discover the profound richness which can be found there.
3. There’s a script
When you visit, you’ll soon notice that there’s a “script” for Mass. The priest and the people have prescribed parts. The priest will say something (e.g. “The Lord be with you!”) and then all the people will respond in unison (e.g. “And with your spirit”). These exchanges and prayers have been prayed by the Church for over 2,000 years and are worthy of a lifetime of meditation. Everything will probably be entirely in English, but there may be a few small parts sung in Latin or Greek.
If you’re at a Mass during the week, the service will likely be slightly simplified, with minimal music and with some of the optional parts dropped.
4. Expect a bit of a workout
Not only is there a “script”, there are “stage directions” too! God made us body and soul. Therefore, at Mass we don’t just think pious thoughts, we also worship with our bodies. This means that we stand to hear the words of Christ proclaimed, we sit to listen to the priest’s homily and we kneel in prayer at Communion. As Marge Simpson famously said about Catholicism, “All of that standing, sitting and kneeling… It’s like ‘Simon Says’ without a winner!”. With all these Catholic calisthenics, you won’t need to go to the gym later or, if you do, you can at least probably skip the cardio.
5. Don’t worry about “doing something wrong”
Probably the most common concern I hear from people in anticipation of their first Mass is that they’re afraid they’ll “do something wrong” or stand out in some way. Don’t worry! All you have to do is copy those around you. I suggest finding a pew halfway down the church and then just sit when everyone else sits and stand when they stand.
The only point in the Mass where you’ll actually have to do anything is when the Priest or Deacon invites you to turn to the person next to you “and offer one another a sign of peace”. Typically this just involves shaking your neighbour’s hand, although it does vary a little in different cultures. If you’re English, this unnecessary touching of strangers is going to be very uncomfortable, but don’t worry, it’ll all be over soon.
If you want to follow along with the congregation’s responses, they’ll be available in the “missal”, a book which is typically found in the pews. However, I’d generally encourage newcomers not to have their heads stuck in a book for the entire time – I think it’s much better for them to just pay attention to whatever is going on and listen to the words being said.
6. It’s a game of two halves
The Mass is divided into two parts: the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. The former part is devoted to prayer, the reading of Sacred Scripture and the priest’s homily, which is his reflection on the Bible passages which have just been read. The latter part of the Mass focuses of Holy Communion, or as it’s more commonly called, The Eucharist. If you’ve been to a Protestant service, the first part of the Mass will probably seem reasonably familiar, but the second half maybe less so.
7. It’s all about Jesus in the Eucharist
Unless you understand the Catholic belief about the Eucharist, much of the Mass will seem incomprehensible…
So what is the Eucharist? Well, in the part of the Mass known as “The Offertory Procession”, bread and wine (mixed with water) are brought forward and placed on the altar. Catholics believe that, by the authority of Christ, when the priest calls down the Holy Spirit upon the bread and wine, while the appearance of bread and wine remain, they are transformed into Jesus’ Body and Blood. By consuming them, we are filled with the Divine Life.
Understanding the Eucharist illuminates so much of what might be confusing about the Mass. This is why Catholics take the Mass so seriously. This is why we fast from food beforehand. This is why we dress nicely. This is why Catholics kneel at Communion and why we bow towards the tabernacle, the shiny box which contains the Eucharist.
8. Come to Communion… once you’ve joined the Catholic Church
Since Catholics believe that Jesus is truly present in the bread and wine, we take the receiving of Holy Communion very seriously. As a result, Communion is restricted to practising Catholics.
Since you won’t be able to receive Communion, you have a couple of options:
(a) Stay put
You can simply stay where you are and people will shuffle past. You can also get out of the pew to make it easier for others in your row to go to Communion. While they are receiving the Eucharist, if you would like, you can make a “spiritual communion” by simply praying the following prayer in your pew:
“My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament [of the Eucharist]. I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen”
(b) Go up
Alternatively, you can actually join the Communion line in order to receive a blessing from the priest. You don’t have to be Catholic or even a Christian. You indicate that you wish to receive a blessing by crossing your arms across your body like you’re from Wakanda:
9. Cream and sugar?
Most parishes have coffee and donuts available afterwards. Please come and say hello! Don’t be afraid of identifying yourself as a visitor! Say “Hello” to the priest – he might dress like a ninja, but he’s actually very friendly.
If you’re interested in learning more about the Catholic Church, you might ask about signing up for RCIA (The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults), which is a course that you can freely attend in order to ask more questions about the Catholic Faith. Speaking of which…
10. Ask questions!
If you were confused or curious about anything you experienced at Mass, don’t be afraid of asking questions. You could ask people at coffee after Mass, or when you meet the priest. And please don’t be afraid of asking questions which you might think are “too basic”, I’m sure they’d love to help. If you somehow don’t manage to find someone to ask, please feel free to leave your question in the Comments Section below.
Agree? Disagree? Is there something else you would say to someone visiting a Catholic parish for the first time? If so, please leave a comment below!
Perhaps a debate on the Eucharist will wake you up out of your spiritual coma…
http://matt1618.freeyellow.com/malakyeopening.html
MK, we tried to have a conversation before. If you’d like to discuss something, that’s fine. However, if you recall, you emailed me out the blue and, rather than introducing yourself, you immediately launched into a combative argument. What then happened? Rather than answering the questions I asked, you continued to be aggressive and started with name-calling, thinking somehow that 1 Peter 3:15 might apply to some Christians but not to you. I googled you and found that this was pretty consistent behaviour on other websites.
It’s a relief to know what to expect. Thx you! I am going today for the first time with my daughter after several months of reading materials shared by her. She is doing the Catholicism Bible study with me by Bishop Robert Brown andi have read rPatrick Madrid, Surprised by Truth and Retinking Mary. As a Protestant all my life in many denominational churches, I am Surprised by the Truth. I am working my way home for the first time of everything Catholic! It is the right road for me. It is all so making sense!
Hey Evie,
Welcome to Restless Pilgrim! I’m glad I could dispel some of your nerves! All the best for your journey – if I can help at all, please let me know 🙂
God bless,
David.
Great piece. I will be attending Mass for the first time tomorrow with my mother. I know, even a grown man needs his mom to “hold” his hand sometimes! lol I have been scouring the net for help on this very subject. Thank you for dispelling a few fears.
Oh that’s great Clifford! Please come back afterwards and tell us what you thought and what other preparation I could include in the article 🙂
How did your trip to Mass go?
Very helpful…I am going alone to a catholic service and didn’t know what to do. This certainly helped me out! Thank you!!!
Hey Debra, welcome to Restless Pilgrim! How’d your visit go?
I’m going to mass on my own for the first time this evening. Prayers would be great, thank you.
How did it go?!
I am going to my first catholic mass this weekend alone and this truly helped calm my nerves. Thank you!!
That’s great to hear! Be sure to come back and tell us how it went!
I’ve spent the past 2 hours absolutely engrossed in your website. I’ve recently left the religion I was raised in and have since felt a spiritual void. I’ve always been curious about Catholicism but know so little. Thank you so much for this site and sharing your knowledge and wisdoms! I will be attending my first Mass soon as soon as I work up my courage and this article has really put me at ease and helped me know what to expect. Thank you!
You’re very welcome 🙂 If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.
Hello “Restless Pilgrim”,
First a HUGE BASKET OF GRATEFUL
May I please double check with you ?
Entering in doors,
holy water & sign of cross,
genuflecting @ the pew
Crossing of my arms & asking for a blessing up front for communion??
COVID & shaking hands PLAN B??
Post it notes in missal ??
Cheat sheets/ to do list BEFORE ??
Arriving early !! HUGE THANKS!! PHEW
Learn the HOW TO FIRST THEN WHY 👍
🕊 BE WITH YOU, AMEN
Not entirely sure if you’re asking a question, but you’re welcome!
Hello, Anfgelia, if the Pilgrim allows, I will answer these:
Entering in doors: Nothing special about that, just avoid passing ahead of the priest if you happen to arrive just in time and find the priest already aligned for the procession.
holy water & sign of cross: Holy water reminds of our baptism, and is also a sacramental. The sign of the cross is the physical part of a prayer: (“By the sign of the Holy Cross, may the Lord our God rid us from our enemies, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost” [I am not a native english speaker, so I just translated that from latin, you may look over the correct wording in english]). So, usually you dip your fingers into the Holy Water Basin and crossyourself: first the head, then the chest, then left and right shoulder (if you are in a eastern rite, right then left shoulder) while praying the last part of the prayer.
genuflecting @ the pew: You genuflect only if the red lamp is lit, for genuflection is due to Our Lord present in the sacrarium. If it is not lit, you simply bow to the Altar, which is the next representation of Christ, and because it has relics embeded into its Ara stone.
Crossing of my arms & asking for a blessing up front for communion: Not a very common practice here in Brazil, but I have heard it is common elsewhere. But, since you are required to open your mouth and stretch your tongue, or make a cup with your hands, to receive the eucharist, by crossing your arms you are signaling that you cannot receive it, so, the priest will not give it to you and will bless you. If the church has lay extraordinary ministers helping dispensing the eucharist, you should go to the priest, not to the minister, who will not be able to bless you.
COVID & shaking hands PLAN B: You can just nod and make a sign. The intention of this part is just to bless one another, and it is not obligatory. Also, it only exists in the Ordinary Rite.
Post it notes in missal: A missal is to accompany the rite, but if you are attending a vernacular rite (ordinary) you will understand almost everything being said, and so, the missal is just useful for those still learning, and as a help for less used eucharistic prayers. In the extraordinary rite it is more useful, due to latin being the predominant language, and the priest praying many things in “secret” (low voice).
Cheat sheets/ to do list BEFORE: Arrive early, look up the liturgical calendar to see if the celebration will be a feast day, check with the church if there will be confession before the mass, or if there will be a marriage or baptism. You may want to read the missal for the day beforehand, so that you can just appreciate the mass without having to lose focus by reading and not seeing/hearing. The oldest temples are built as a cathechism in imagery, you may learn a lot by just contemplating the window paintings, the symbols and the arrangement of things.
Pax Christi!
Further thinking HELP!
Is it possible to do an outline of the mass for this Sunday ONLY ? ( simple one day at a time, type ??)
! A video !
REHEARSAL – magical 3 REPETITIVE times ?? ( horse training tip)
3 different resources not the same.
🤦♀️🙆♀️🙎♀️🙍♀️🤷♀️🧏♀️🙇♀️
I appreciate this. In a few hours I will attend mass for the first time (in fact I’ve never attended a church service), so this short guide has given me much confidence. I’m looking forward to the experience. Thank you.
You’re very welcome – how did it go?
Thank you so much for your advice on attending Catholic services, I am Episcopalian so I am familiar with The Holy Eucharist. I understand if I just cross my arms , I can be blessed by the priest. I have been listening to Catechism in a Year and have been very inspired by Fr. Mike. I will be attending soon and hope to learn as much as possible, I am hungry for the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Hey Julia, welcome to Restless Pilgrim! You’re very welcome – how did it go?
Thank you for this post. Will be attending my first Catholic mass in the morning this has helped a lot
How did it go?
Thank you so much for this guide. For the first time in my life, I will be attending a Catholic Mass next weekend. My fifteen year old daughter will be accompanying me, and she is very nervous. This will definitely help! A quick question, if you don’t mind, would you recommend just showing up, or should we contact the church, first? I have been advised both ways, and would earnestly appreciate your perspective. Thank you in advance, and thank you, again, for this article.
Sorry for the delay in responding, I only check back here periodically. Honestly, you could do either. There’s no need to contact the parish in advance, but if you do the priest might be on the look-out for you and check-in with you afterwards.
…but I’m guessing you’ve already visited? How did it go?
This may be one of the best explanations of the Mass that I’ve read in a long time 😂😂 Haven’t been to a mass since high school and am now in the process of becoming Catholic myself so this is extremely helpful.
Wonderful news! Please let me know if you have any questions or anything I can help with.
David
I will be going to my first mass this Sunday, alone. I am unfamiliar with the Catholic faith as I was raised Baptist. Thank you for easing some of the stress!!
You’re very welcome! How did it go?
I’m going for the first time ever this Tuesday. And that’s my first question, is it imposing to go on a weekday or is it better to go on Sunday for my first experience?
Sorry for the delay in responding. Weekday masses tend to be simpler, shorter, and mostly without music. It’s entirely up to you which you’d prefer as your first experience.
Happy Easter,
Im Attending for the first time, although im not nervous to be in the mass, i was nervous as to what to do with myself during the time and your guide was helpful.
Glad it helped! How did it go?
Hello. I attended my first mass this morning. I have visited a few different churches on a spiritual quest, but I felt the presence of god at the catholic church. I really enjoyed the service and was warmly welcomed. And I can go to church every day if I wish. I finally felt peace in my heart.
Wonderful – I’m glad it was a positive experience. If I can can help in any way please let me know.
Cheers,
David
Again thank you for this guide. My son is going to a Catholic school and attending mass is required, so we are going to support him. This will help a lot, and I promise I will come back and tell you how it went. 🙂
Wonderful!