"We are travellers…not yet in our native land" – St. Augustine
Yesterday, we began a guest post series from the author of SystematicChristianity.org, Matthew Grivich, on the subject of on-line Catholic dating…
In yesterday’s post, I outlined the advantages and disadvantages to online dating. Today I would like to give my suggestions as to how to use Catholic dating sites most effectively.
Today we have a guest post from my friend Matthew, the man behind SystematicChristianity.org and author of the book Rational Faith.
Before he left San Diego, Matt and I had talked about the world of online dating. I had never signed up from sites like CatholicMatch.com, so asked Matthew about his experience.
As we talked, he mentioned that he should write an article about the Catholic on-line dating scene. Several months later, as I heard of more and more of my friends using these websites, I sent him a message on Facebook asking him if he would, in fact, write something for Restless Pilgrim. He graciously agreed. Everybody, please welcome Matthew Grivich…
First off, I really appreciate David for starting the conversation on dating in the Catholic world. This is a topic that is badly (or evilly) covered in the secular media and barely touched in the Catholic media. When Catholics do discuss it, they usually spend more time saying what you are not supposed to do, instead of what you are supposed to do. Alternatively, they skip straight over meeting and dating to people who are already married.
Be it that I am engaged, and I met my fiancée (Jennifer) on-line, I am at least somewhat qualified to discuss this topic. However, your mileage may vary and take with a grain of salt. Clichés are no extra charge.
In September while I was “in the desert” and just posting quotations from the Desert Fathers, I came across some really great web pages that I wanted to share here. So, over the next few weeks, please expect a few extra posts of the hey-this-is-an-article-you-should-read variety.
Today I’d like to begin with a post written by my favourite street-preaching hobo, Meg Hunter-Kilmer. She recently wrote a article entitled How to Stay Chaste: 10 Tips for Couples packed with some really solid, practical advice:
Update: San Diegans! It has been confirmed that Meg will be speaking at a Goretti Group Mass next Summer.
Since beginning this series a couple of weeks ago, I have received a lot of positive feedback. This has come almost exclusively from the ladies. Well, let’s see how long that lasts… 😉
So far in my response to the question “Why doesn’t that nice Catholic boy ask me out?”, I have omitted a rather obvious possible answer: he doesn’t want to.
Occam’s Razor states, broadly speaking, that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. So, if a gentleman doesn’t ask out a lady, the simplest explanation is that he’s not sufficiently motivated to do so. It’s tough, I know, but it’s a legitimate explanation.
On the whole, when someone wants something, he seeks it out. If he doesn’t, then the chances are that he doesn’t really want it enough. So, in general, if a guy really wants to ask a girl out, he will. If he doesn’t, then he won’t.
Why am I saying this and running the risk of offending my female readers?
I’m bringing this up because in the past when I’ve heard the fairer sex complain about a guy’s lack of romantic advances, I’ve sometimes felt that they were willing to accept any explanation other than the simplest answer. These lamentations have sometimes turned into complicated defenses for a guy’s apparent lack of romantic attention. Could it just be that he didn’t want to be more than a platonic friend?
Way to step up!