Wise Words on Wednesday: The company we keep
“We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”
– Jim Rohn
Tag: Friends
TEA: Is there life before marriage? (Goretti Group)
Last night I gave a talk for The Goretti Group. This was a variation on a talk I gave at the Southern Kansas Young Adult Conference.
Is there life before marriage? (Download)
I’ve written a couple of articles for the Goretti Group in the past which you might like to read: Dear Miss Lawrence and “I waited until my wedding night to lose my virginity and I wish I hadn’t”.
Wise Words on Wednesday: Find Your Posse
“There is a posse of men I know who really exemplify the strength and perseverance of living out the Virtue Challenge together. They confided in me that all five of them were fighting addictions to pornography and sexual sin. They got together and talked about it openly and honestly and decided to hold each other accountable. If any one of the guys fell in a moment of weakness, he would send out a group text to all the men in the posse, and from that moment on all five men would fast for twenty-four hours. No one ate. They prayed for each other and sacrificed eating for twenty-four hours”
– Sarah Swafford, Emotional Virtue
Meeting Christ in my father’s death
My Dad’s birthday party (2007)
Today’s article is one which I’ve wanted to write for some time. You see, 2015 has been a very eventful year for me, but unfortunately much of it has been less-than-pleasant. In fact, I think I can say without exaggeration that this year has featured some of the most painful experiences of my life. Not least of these events was the death of my father in July. Up until now I haven’t said much about this publicly, but I would like to share a little bit about it today…
I had spent Independence Day with friends on Whidbey Island. It’s a truly delightful part of the world and I had a wonderful time there. We spent the day at the pool and had an evening of fine food and board games, followed by fireworks at the beach. The following morning, for some inexplicable reason, virtually everyone in the house rose early and went for a three-mile run. Since it was early on the day after a national holiday, we pretty much had the island to ourselves and in the crisp, early morning air, we passed several deer as we made our tour of the island. It was beautiful.
It was after breakfast that I received a message from my family back in England, asking me to call. A knot formed in my stomach; I had a suspicion as to the reason for this message. I excused myself and went out to my car, where I called my Mum. She confirmed what I had feared: my Dad was dying.
You see, my father had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma several years before. After several rounds of chemotherapy, his health seemed to be under control, but in recent months things hadn’t been looking so good. Infections had become increasingly common, necessitating numerous speedy trips to the hospital. My Mum said that Dad had suffered yet another infection, but unlike the previous ones, this one was certain to kill him. She told me that the hospital staff said that there was nothing more they could do and that it was unlikely he’d last another twenty-four hours. After hanging up the phone, I composed myself and went back into the house, said my goodbyes and was soon on my way back to Seattle.
Wise Words on Wednesday: Making of friendship
Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit
– Aristotle
Catholic Dating: Friends First
Continuing our discussion concerning the Christian dating scene, today I would like to talk about “Friends First” dating. I would like to ruminate over some of the advantages of this approach, but I would also like to discuss some of the potential pitfalls, at least as I see them.
In Christian formation and catechesis, you often hear praise of romantic relationships which were first based on friendship, before the addition of a romantic component. This is what is known as “Friends First” dating.
The approach certainly has much to commend itself. After all, it makes sense to get to know someone, that person’s character, personality, interests etc., prior to the big rush of hormones and emotions that come with dating. The “high” that comes from being in a relationship can leave one blind to the warning signs. It’s not hard to find examples of what happens when someone rushes headlong into dating and becomes so emotionally entangled with the other person that it becomes extremely difficult to deal with problems in the relationship, or even to recognize when problems exist.
I know plenty of people who have got together through physical attraction and initial chemistry, only to find out a month or two down the line that there isn’t really anything else on which to base the relationship. To their shock, they realize that the other person is not the person they thought at all! After all, it’s not too hard to “hide the crazy” for the first few months… 😉
Shout Outs
I started this blog a while back now, in June of 2010. Today I thought I’d advertise the blogs of some of my friends who also write here on the Internet.
1. Transformed In Christ
The first blog I’d like to share (and what prompted this post) is Hannah’s blog Transformed In Christ. I first met Hannah when I lived in Cheltenham back in 2003. She’s a graduate of Cambridge University and now lives in London. She hasn’t been blogging for very long, but she’s a smart cookie, so expect some good stuff here 🙂
