TOT: How to pray with confidence!

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Fr. Jacob (Andrew) Bertrand, priest at Santa Sophia, recently gave a talk at Faith On Fire, an event in our San Diego diocese much like Theology On Tap, but specifically targeted at those in their late teens and early twenties.

Fr. Jacob was scheduled to speak at another Faith On Fire series at the end of last year, but was unfortunately sick on the night of his talk, meaning that I had to do my best Fr. Jacob impression and cover for him at the last minute. Fortunately, this time Fr. Jacob ate his Wheaties and took all his vitamins so he was in tiptop, fighting form for his talk on prayer.

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The lecture was entitled “How to pray with confidence”.  You can either listen to it using the embedded player or download it in MP3 format using the link below:

(Download Main Talk)

There was also a brief period of Q&A and that audio is available here:

(Download Q&A)

At the end of his talk Fr. Jacob gave a quiz, awarding prizes to those with the most correct answers. Here are the questions he asked:

1. What are the three stages of the spiritual life?
2. What are the four forms of prayer?
3. How many petitions are there in the Our Father?
4. The illuminative way is also known as spiritual adulthood. True or false?
5. Name one of the kinds of evil the Father will deliver us from.
6. God leads us into temptation to see if we will sin. True or false?
7. What is the one conditional petition in the Our Father?
8. The Our Father is considered the ______ of our desire.
9. St. Therese said that prayer is a ______ of the heart.
10. What is Fr. Jacob’s middle name?

If you would like to listen to more of Fr. Jacob, his homilies are available on Sound Cloud.

The article Fr: Jacob: How to pray with confidence! first appeared on RestlessPilgrim.net

Catholic Dating: Not wanting to be “that guy”

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In recent posts I’ve been sharing my thoughts about the question often asked by Catholic females, “Why doesn’t that nice Catholic boy ask me out?”

In my last post I wrote about how the fear of rejection plays a significant part in the answer to this question. In addition, I suggested that a warped sense of Christian masculinity contributes to the problem and that all this is exacerbated by the close communal nature of faith groups.

Today I’d like to continue looking at this issue and examine briefly another of the reasons why Catholic guys tend not to ask out Catholic girls as often as they perhaps should. In today’s post I would propose that guys sometimes fail to do so because they don’t want to be that guy.

In each Catholic community I’ve belonged to, there has always been that guy. You know who I mean? I’m talking about the player. He’s the guy who’s always scanning the pews at the Young Adult Mass or Bible Study, keeping an eye out for any new arrivals. As soon as a new girl turns up, you can guarantee he’ll be the one jumping in to offer her a warm welcome to the parish…which’ll quite likely involve a dinner and a romantic drive by sunset beach…

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The “brothers” of Jesus

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A friend recently sent me a Facebook message asking about a passage from the Bible she had heard at Mass:

“Can you shed light on the “brothers” of Jesus in the gospel today for me? James, Joseph, Simon and Judas…” 

The passage referred to was from Matthew’s Gospel:

They were astonished [at Jesus] and said, “Where did this man get such wisdom and mighty deeds? Is he not the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother named Mary and his brothers James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas? Are not his sisters all with us? …”  – Matthew 13:54-58

So what do we make of these guys, these “brothers” of Jesus?

Mary, Mary, quite contrary…

The Catholic Church teaches that Mary was not only a virgin at the time of Jesus’ birth, but also that she remained a virgin for the rest of her life. However, doesn’t the above passage mention the “brothers…[and]…sisters” of Jesus? Doesn’t that prove that Mary had other children after Christ?

As you can imagine this issue is often raised in Catholic-Protestant dialogue, since the doctrine of the Perpetual Virginity of Mary found in Sacred Tradition seems to many Protestants to obviously contradict Sacred Scripture.

There’s a lot which could be said on this subject, but in this post I would like to offer a brief response and explain how Catholics understand the mention of Jesus’ “brothers”.

Mary

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Catholic Dating: Fear of rejection

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So, earlier today I wrote that I wanted to resurrect the abandoned blog series I began last year. I wanted to finally return to address the question I’ve so often heard asked about Catholic guys: why do they seem so averse to asking girls out on dates?

I would suggest that the main reason is simply fear of rejection.

It’s a pretty basic answer, but I think that this is all-too-often the reason why the Catholic guys I know haven’t dated more. This reason applies to non-Catholic men as well, of course, but I think there are some uniquely complicating factors for Catholics and I’ll talk about those in a bit.

Living Dangerously

Asking someone out is not exactly a stress-free activity. It involves risk. It involves “putting yourself out there” and risking  rejection. Sometimes that rejection can be swift and direct (“Sorry, but no thank you”), sometimes laced with platitudes (“You’re really special, but I think of you as more of a brother”) and sometimes you’ll just be ignored. However, in the mind of a guy there is always the irrational fear that it’d be cold and brutal (“You want to go on a date? Ewh! Ewh! Get away from me!”).

This fear of being shot-down is very real for a lot of guys, particularly those of the more sensitive variety. The lack of confidence and fear of rejection can lead to a paralyzing insecurity.

rejection

Asking someone out requires courage and willingness to be vulnerable, but I think there are two complicating factors which are unique for Christian men… Read more

Catholic Dating: Let’s try this again…

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A long, long time ago I announced that I was writing a series of posts which would attempt to respond to a question which I have heard asked in frustration by many of my female Catholic friends concerning my brothers in the Faith: “Why doesn’t that nice Catholic boy ask me out?”

Despite having received a lively response to my original blog entry, it is well over a year later and I have posted nothing further on the subject 🙁

Now, I did begin sketching out a few initial articles, but unfortunately I soon began to feel rather nervous, unsure as to how such posts would be received, particularly by those within my immediate Church family. So, to cut a long story short, I chickened out. I stopped working on them and didn’t publish anything further on the subject.

And in case you were wondering, no, the irony of this was not lost on me…

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