"We are travellers…not yet in our native land" – St. Augustine
A few weeks ago I helped out at the Steubenville Conference here in San Diego, a weekend Catholic youth conference. My friend Paul J. Kim was there as a speaker, but I didn’t get to hear his talk. I heard great things, however, so I tracked it down on YouTube. Here it is…
Hey Paul, stop stealing all my pick-up lines!
(Excellent t-shirt though)
Since beginning this series a couple of weeks ago, I have received a lot of positive feedback. This has come almost exclusively from the ladies. Well, let’s see how long that lasts… 😉
So far in my response to the question “Why doesn’t that nice Catholic boy ask me out?”, I have omitted a rather obvious possible answer: he doesn’t want to.
Occam’s Razor states, broadly speaking, that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. So, if a gentleman doesn’t ask out a lady, the simplest explanation is that he’s not sufficiently motivated to do so. It’s tough, I know, but it’s a legitimate explanation.
On the whole, when someone wants something, he seeks it out. If he doesn’t, then the chances are that he doesn’t really want it enough. So, in general, if a guy really wants to ask a girl out, he will. If he doesn’t, then he won’t.
Why am I saying this and running the risk of offending my female readers?
I’m bringing this up because in the past when I’ve heard the fairer sex complain about a guy’s lack of romantic advances, I’ve sometimes felt that they were willing to accept any explanation other than the simplest answer. These lamentations have sometimes turned into complicated defenses for a guy’s apparent lack of romantic attention. Could it just be that he didn’t want to be more than a platonic friend?
You are as much a real person as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as important as the surface. There are people who are all facade, like a house left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage.
– The Art of Wordly Wisdom, Balthasar Gracian, 17th Century
There appear to have been some technical difficulties with the Audrey Assad concert and it ended up being hosted at a different online location. Click on the image to connect!
In this series I’m trying to examine some of the issues and problems within the Catholic dating world. However, before I get underway with today’s post I would like very briefly to reply to an important question which was raised in response to an earlier post. The question was asked, is there actually even a problem here to address?!
I would suggest that we do indeed have a problem. In addition to anecdotal evidence, there is statistical data to demonstrate that there are fewer and fewer marriages taking place today, even among practising Catholics:
This decline has far reaching consequences, both for Catholic schools and parishes, as well as for Catholic culture and the Church’s witness to the world. If you would like to read about this further then I would recommend this article by Msgr. Pope.
So with that issue addressed, let’s return to the main question of this series: why aren’t more Catholic guys asking girls out on dates? One possible answer might be because many guys are in no hurry to settle down.
Society today praises choice. With regards to commitment, we are urged to be cautious: “Don’t commit yourself!”, “Someone better might be just around the corner!”, “Leave yourself an escape!”. I would suggest that, because of this, some guys refrain from dating in a misguided attempt to keep their options open (there is a related dynamic here on the part of the ladies, but I plan to deal with that in a later post).
To make matters worse, do we sometimes hear a message from the Church that can sound somewhat similar? In the Catholic Church, marriage is a Sacrament, something serious, important, binding and lifelong. We are therefore often urged to move with great caution. Additionally, with broken marriages all around us, isn’t it sensible to be extremely careful in selecting a future spouse?
I think there is good sense in caution, but have we gone too far? Are we encouraged to wait too long?
Tomorrow there is going to be a free, online concert with Audrey Assad to promote her new album “Fortunate Fall”. As a supporter of her Kickstarter campaign I’ve had the album for a couple of weeks now and pretty much have it on constantly. Trust me, it’s kinda epic…
“Your rod and Your staff are a strange mercy / In a world where I’m not yet home”
– Lead Me On, Audrey Assad
So, if you’d like to tune in and watch Audrey sing three new songs, either click on the above picture or the following link tomorrow at 6pm CST: http://smarturl.com/FortunateStream. Use the hashtag #fortunatefall on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and possibly win prizes!
Here are the final answers to the New Testament Warm-Up questions:
43. What appears after Hebrews? What category of books do we call these?
The Catholic Epistles (7 books): James, Peter (x2), John (x3) and Jude . These are letters written by Church leaders other than the Apostle Paul.
44. Who most likely wrote James’ epistle?
James of Jerusalem (“James the Just”). He was Jesus’ kinsman (see Mark 6:3), resurrection witness (see 1 Corinthians 15:7) and “pillar of the church” (see Galatians 2:9). Tradition tells us that he was Bishop of Jerusalem and Martyred in AD 62 (Stoned, clubbed or thrown from the Temple)
45. How would you summarize James’ epistle?
Faith without works is dead. This motif appears throughout. James speaks about practical Christian living and the life of faith.
46. What documents appear next?
1 & 2 Peter
47. What documents appear after that?
1, 2, & 3 John
48. After that?
Jude
49. What is the final book of the Bible?
The Book of Revelation
50. What is its literary genre?
It is an Apocalyptic Book
51. What are the two main senses of Scripture according to the Catechism?
Literal and Spiritual
52. What are the three types of spiritual senses?
Allegorical, moral and anagogical
1-16 | 17-27 | 27-42 | 43-52 | 53-57 | 58-67 | 68-71 | 72-81 | 72-81
All Questions