TO MARY VAN DEUSEN: On how one responds to the diagnosis of serious illness and on four strategies for coping.
10 April 1959
I have just had Sister Hildegarde’s letter. My heart goes out to you. You are now just where I was a little over two years ago—they wrongly diagnosed Joy’s condition as uremia before they discovered cancer of the bone.
I know all the different ways in which it gets one: wild hopes, bitter nostalgia for lost happiness, mere physical terror turning one sick, agonised pity and self-pity. In fact, Gethsemane. I had one (paradoxical) support which you lack—that of being in severe pain myself. Apart from that what helped Joy and me through it was:
1. That she was always told the whole truth about her own state. There was no miserable pretence. That means that both can face it side-by-side, instead of becoming something like adversaries in a battle-of-wits.
2. Take it day by day and hour by hour (as we took the front line). It is quite astonishing how many happy—even gay—moments we had together when there was no hope.
3. Don’t think of it as something sent by God. Death and disease are the work of the Devil. It is permitted by God: i.e., our General has put you in a fort exposed to enemy fire.
4. Remember other sufferers. It’s fatal to start thinking ‘Why should this happen to us when everyone else is so happy.’ You are (I was and may be again) one of a huge company. Of course we shall pray for you all we know how.
As I’ve mentioned before, at the moment virtually all my friends are getting married. Over the course of life thus far I’ve been to many weddings and got to hear many different Scripture selections by different couples. Needless to say I’ve heard 1 Corinthians 13 far too often! At the most recent wedding, the subject came up and I shared what would be my own Scripture choices for my own wedding. I figured that I may as well turn it into a blog post 🙂
A couple of weeks ago, I was interviewed on the Reason and Theology show. We covered quite a bit of ground, talking about Liturgy, the Early Church and ministry:
I just had a very strange interaction on Facebook… A friend of mine posted the following video of the Protestant evangelist Todd Friel:
One of his friends, a man called Simon, responded with the following curious assertions:
His response struck me as a strange for several reasons, but first and foremost because it demonstrated very clearly that Simon was rather unfamiliar with the New Testament! I responded by pointing out that Jesus would absolutely call other people wrong. In fact, at times He could be quite mean, even to the point of calling people names:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites… You fools and blind men… For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you too outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness… you brood of vipers”
Matthew 23:15, 17, 27-28, 33
He was even known on occasion to flip tables!
And making a whip of cords, he drove them all, with the sheep and oxen, out of the temple; and he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables – John 2:15
John 2:15
Naturally, there are many other Scripture passages which I could have quoted, not least Jesus’ exclusive claims about Himself:
“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6
With wearying predictability, rather than adjusting his statement, Simon immediately accused me of “judging” him. Some folks really love to jump to play the victim card even at the mildest of challenges. I wonder if he would have said exactly the same thing if I had pointed out an error in his arithmetic…
Amusingly, he then tried to quote Romans 2 to me:
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?
Romans 2:1-3
At this point I suggested to him that, while I’d be happy to discuss that passage with him, it probably isn’t a good idea to quote the Bible at a Christian right on the heels of making a demonstrably false statement about Jesus. He then said that he didn’t want to discuss his beliefs with me any more, so I closed by saying that hopefully I had at least disabused you of the notion that “Jesus would never call other people wrong”. I concluded with a passage which denies this explicitly:
“[Jesus said] ‘You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God'”
Matthew 22:29
…and, for good measure, I also included a passage where Jesus teaches His followers about judgement:
“Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly”
John 7:24
Needless to say, he wrote with the following:
…and then thirty seconds later deleted the thread.
Are you looking for something to watch this afternoon over a nice cup of tea? You might enjoy “Ostrov”, a movie about a fictional 20th century Eastern Orthodox monk, Father Anatoly. It’s a beautiful picture into Orthodox spirituality and was even praised by The Patriarch of Moscow, Alexei II.
If you ever come and visit my parish, you may notice the following icon on the iconostasis:
When people visit my church and notice this icon, they often ask me who this is. Raguel is an angel which is not named in the canonical writings of the Bible. He is, however, spoken of in the non-canonical work, the Book of Enoch.
“And these are the names of the Holy Angels who keep watch. Uriel, one of the Holy Angels; namely the Holy Angel of the Spirits of Men. Raguel, one of the Holy Angels; who takes vengeance on the world, and on the lights. Michael, one of the Holy Angels, namely the one put in charge of the best part of humankind, in charge of the nation. Saraqael, one of the Holy Angels; who is in charge of the spirits of men who cause the spirits to sin. Gabriel, one of the Holy Angels, who is in charge of the Serpents, and the Garden, and the Cherubim.
Book of Enoch, Chapter 23
His name means “Friend of God” and is often referred to as the archangel of justice, fairness, harmony, vengeance and redemption.
It might seem strange to some that we render an icon of a character in a non-canonical book, but if the Epistle of Jude can refer to that non-canonical work and still remain Scripture, why not?