Resisting Happiness

I woke up this morning and smiled when I remembered that I didn’t have to read any of the Qur’an this morning! So, instead of reporting on another chapter of Islamic scripture, I thought I’d write a little bit about one of the books I’m reading, Resisting Happiness by Matthew Kelly.

I’m only about six chapters through “Resisting Happiness” so far, but since we’re at the beginning of a new year, I thought it would be a good time to share the book’s central message.

Resistance

Matthew Kelly opens the book by describing what he calls “resistance”:

It’s that sluggish feeling of not wanting to do something that you know is good for you, it’s the inclination to do something that you unabashedly know is not good for you… It’s the desire and tendency to delay something you should be doing right now.

– Resisting Happiness, Chapter 1

Hopefully it’s clear why I think this subject is appropriate to discuss. We are at that time of year when everyone makes New Year resolutions which will, unfortunately, probably not last beyond February…

As with most of Mr. Kelly’s books, I’m sure his hypersensitive critics will complain about the style of this book. It doesn’t use hefty theological terms and, at least in the opening few chapters, it doesn’t identify “resistance” as “the world, the flesh and the devil”, the three enemies of the soul which are traditionally identified in Christian theology. Even though it’s not described in these terms, Mr. Kelly makes it very clear that “resistance” is to be fought and he uses imagery which should be very familiar to most Christians:

Make no mistake, resistance is your enemy. It will not quietly go away and leave you alone. You have to slay it like a dragon, and you have to slay it anew each day

– Resisting Happiness, Chapter 1

Happiness

In the second chapter, Mr. Kelly describes the perplexing phenomena that, even though we greatly desire it, people often resist their own happiness:

“We have all seen patterns of laziness and procrastination cripple people personally and professionally… We have all sat by while people we love sabotage their chances at success and happiness over and over again… We wonder to ourselves, ‘Why would anybody do something so stupid?’…”

– Resisting Happiness, Chapter 2

In response this, he identifies the cause of our apparent insanity very succinctly:

People do stupid things because they mistakenly believe those stupid things will make them happy. 

– Resisting Happiness, Chapter 2

A more traditional way of expressing this phenomenon would be “concupiscence”. This describes how our desires are disordered, how we choose lesser goods over and above greater goods. This is what happens when a man chooses his hobbies over his family or his work over God.

Mr. Kelly claims that we typically know the things which make us happy, and he identifies a few things in his own life: working hard, writing, taking a morning walk and taking some quiet time to pray in the mornings. My own list would be very similar. He notes that if he does these things, he infinitely improves his chances of having a great day.

The second chapter ends with a call for us to stop resisting happiness and, with that, I’d like to end this short review:

Do you worry about things you have no control over?
Worry destroys happiness.

Do you compare yourself with others in an unhealthy way?
Comparison is a destroyer of happiness.

Do you cling to bad relationships?
Bad relationships destroy our happiness.

Do you buy things you can’t afford and don’t need?
Debt is a destroyer of happiness and a creator of stress.

Gossip, laziness, fear, excuses, negative thinking, ingratitude and jealousy are all destroyers of happiness.

– Resisting Happiness, Chapter 2

If you would like to pick up a copy of Resisting Happiness, you can purchase it from Amazon, or from Dynamic Catholic where you can can order a handful of paperback copes for $2 each. But if you live in San Diego, you can just shoot me a message and have one of my copies for free 😉