Two nations, two languages
This month in the United States we celebrate Thanksgiving, so I thought it was a good time to do a post where I celebrate the top five things Americans say (or don’t say) which make me me raise my eyebrows, tut slightly and set about making myself a comforting a cup of tea 🙂
1. “Thank You”, “You’re Welcome” and “Sure”
I don’t know why, but in place of “Thank you” and “You’re welcome”, inhabitants of this country seem to think that “Sure” and “Ok” are equally appropriate responses. Sorry America, they’re not.
2. “I could care less”
No. You mean you couldn’t care less. If you could care less then that means that you currently care to some degree. Please see David Mitchell’s excellent video on the subject.
3. Me vs. I
Now I understand that sometimes it’s easy enough to make a grammatical mistake, to occasionally use the word “me” when you meant to use “I”. However, I often come into contact with Americans who get it around the wrong way consistently.
Please let me explain how this works. Let’s say that you are trying to communicate that the two of us went to the cinema together. What should you say?
Option #1: “David and me went to the cinema”
Option #2: “David and I went to the cinema”
Fortunately, there is a simple test. All you have to do is get rid of the proper noun (“David”, in this case) and then repeat the sentence. Which one of these sounds right?
Option #1: “…me went to the cinema”
Option #2: “…I went to the cinema”
Hopefully, you’ll agree that the first sentence sounds strange. Since the second one sounds correct, one should say “David and I went to the cinema”.
4. Whom
I know we English sound awfully classy when we use the word “whom”, but don’t worry Americans, you can sound this fancy too! The rule is simple, if you’re going to use the word “who”, but the “who” is the object in the sentence, say “whom” instead. This is why you would say “To whom did you send the email?”
5. “It was so ironic…”
No, it probably wasn’t. I don’t know why, but an extremely large number of Americans don’t seem to understand the meaning of irony. Personally, I blame Alanis Morisette. You see, she released the song called “Ironic” in 1995. The song is rather catchy, but there’s a bit of a problem. You see, from reading her lyrics, we are forced to conclude that Miss Morisette doesn’t seem to have the slightest clue as to the meaning of the word “irony” which, funnily enough, is rather ironic.
It appears to be commonly believed among many Americans that irony is basically the the same thing as coincidence. For example, in Alanis’ song, among her list of “ironies”, she complains about a “traffic jam when you’re already late”. Sorry Alanis, that’s not ironic. It would be ironic if you were stuck in this traffic jam on your way to receive a reward for all the good work you did reducing traffic congestion in the city. A traffic jam when you’re already late is just annoying.
Ahhh….it feels good to get all that off my chest. Please send all hate mail to meCouldCareLess@irony.com.
Lemme axe you sumpin!
and they both claim to be English speaking nations. Is that ironic, or what?
gaaaaah!
I ask you sir, what sort of word is that?
I must say, I don’t like number one either. Also, I’m not a fan of “what’s up” as a form of greeting. But, I must confess, after fifteen years living here, my grammar has slipped a bit!
I’ve heard it said the English can’t speak English.
I’m with Henry, things aren’t much better back home…
Oh, that’s true, greetings very nearly made it onto this list. My most hated is “What’s happening?”. It’s not really a question, but I feel compelled to give an answer or reply with a generic “Not much!”. Uggghhh….
As a born and bred Californian, I love this list. My husband is also laughing. We are trying to raise our kids to speak well, but sometimes I speak incorrectly to certain audiences just so I can be understood.
How about “acrosst”; “random”; “at the end of the day”; “let me be clear”; pretty much any of Obama’s catch-phrases.
I also don’t like when people use “that” when they mean “who” and say “they” when they’re only talking about one person.
My husband says, “how about ‘to be perfectly honest with you’? ” as in, otherwise, you wouldn’t be honest with me?
On the other hand…beans on toast…?
> How about “acrosst”; “random”; “at the end of the day”; “let me be clear”; pretty much any of Obama’s catch-phrases.
Back in England “at the end of the day” was done to death.
> I also don’t like when people use “that” when they mean “who” and say “they” when they’re only talking about one person.
Oh yes, “they” is now apparently third-person singular…
> My husband says, “how about ‘to be perfectly honest with you’? ” as in, otherwise, you wouldn’t be honest with me?
When somebody says that to me, I say “Yes, please…please stop all the lies”.
> On the other hand…beans on toast…?
On the other hand…awesome…?
I run into “no problem” as being the substitute for “you’re welcome” far more often.
And honesty, people use “I” just as often incorrectly, thinking that “I” is always correct over “me.” An over correction if you will.
Like in songs… “just you and I.” ::cringe::
Or, even better, “Your welcome”… :-/