How do you honour Mary?

When doing apologetics, I personally find it best to vary the approach I take. Every person is wired differently and a well-crafted explanation which would convince one person may completely fail with someone else.

Often when Catholics and Protestants talk about Mary, they jump straight into the “big” topics: the Immaculate Conception, the Assumption, Intercession, the title “Mother of God” etc. However, I have often found it helpful to rewind the conversation when I see things moving in this direction. Instead of speaking about specific doctrines, I like to talk about Marian devotion at its most a basic level.

So, in today’s post I would like to present a dialogue between a Protestant (“Pete”) and a Catholic (“Catherine”), modeled on some conversations I’ve had where I have used this approach…

Pete: You know, probably the biggest thing that shocks me about Catholicism is the way Catholics worship Mary.

Catherine: We don’t worship her.

Pete: Sure you do. I’ve seen Catholic churches. You guys have statues of Mary, surrounded by flowers and candles, you pray to her, you think she’s like the fourth member of the Trinity…

Catherine: Well, that’s not really true, is it? Mary isn’t divine. She’s a creature; the Catechism says that explicitly.

Pete: Well, it may say that, but that’s not what it looks like. It looks like worship to me…

Catherine: I can understand why it might seem that way, but before we talk about what constitutes “worship”, do you mind if I ask you a more basic question?

Pete: Sure, fire away.

Catherine: Do you think we should show honour to Mary?

Pete: Honour her?

Catherine: Yeah, show Jesus’ mother honour.

Pete: Well, I guess…

Catherine: Great! I’ve met some non-Catholics who would even deny her that, so I’m glad we agree on this point. After all, she was the one chosen by God to bring His Son into the world, wasn’t she? She carried Him in her womb for nine months, gave birth to Him, fed Him with her own body, kissed His face…. That’s a pretty big honour right there, isn’t it?

Pete: Yeah, I suppose it is! Mary deserves respect and honor…but not to be exalted to a godly position, by giving her all the titles and attributes that belong to Jesus. It is God alone who is worthy of exaltation, veneration, glorification, and devotion…

Catherine: Well, I wouldn’t say that we give her any title that belongs to Jesus, but let’s leave that aside for the moment. So far we’re on the same page in that we both think that Mary should be honoured, but now I’m really interested to know what this means to you. So…how do you honour her?

Pete: Well, I honour her for her obedience to God, for weeping for Him after His death…

Catherine: That’s not really addressing my question though, is it? You’re just describing the things you like about Mary…

In the Ten Commandments I’m told to “honour” my father and my mother. Following the pattern of your answer, I imagine you’d say “I honour my mother for carrying me for nine months and I honour my father for paying for my college”. However, that’s not explaining how you honour your parents, that’s just listing the things they’ve done to benefit you! Likewise, I imagine you might say of your girlfriend “I honour her for her beauty and gentleness”. Again, that’s not explaining how you honour your girlfriend, but just saying what you like about her!

Pete: Okay, so if that’s not the kind of thing you what…

Catherine: …what kind of answer am I expecting? Well, I would say that I honour my parents by speaking respectfully to them, being a thoughtful son, keeping pictures of them, praising them to my friends, helping out around the house, looking after them in old age etc. That’s how I give them honour for who they are and what they’ve done for me. Likewise, I would honour a girlfriend by treating her with dignity and respect, by opening doors for her and offering thoughtful gifts such as flowers.

So, given that, how do you honour Mary?

Pete: Huh…well, I honour Mary as mother of the Messiah …

Catherine: Hmmm…that’s still not really answering what I’m asking. You just describing the role she has in Salvation History. I’m asking how you honour her. What does that concretely look like?

Pete: I’m not sure what you mean.

Catherine: Mary prophesied that “All generations shall call me blessed” (Luke 1:48).  How is this fulfilled in your faith life? For that matter, how is it realized in the faith life of your congregation? 

For me it’s easy to see how this prophesy is fulfilled in the Catholic, Coptic and Eastern Orthodox Churches. We name parishes and even name cities after her. Over the centuries we have commissioned great artists to paint her, making her the most frequently painted lady in history! We sing songs about her and keep pictures of her in our homes. In this way, Mary’s prophesy has been fulfilled in every “generation”, as well as through our commemoration of her in the Eucharistic liturgy. That’s how we honour her.

So, given that, how is this honour manifested in your congregation? In what way do you honour her?

Pete: Huh, I don’t really know…

Catherine: That’s okay, thanks for being honest. Does what I’ve said help you understand a bit more why Catholics do what they do and say what they say? We do and say these things to show honour to Mary in concrete terms.

Pete: I suppose so. Still, it seems like you Catholics go overboard on this stuff.

Catherine: Maybe, but perhaps Protestants usually don’t even get into the boat!

Pete: What do you mean?

Catherine: Well, we’ve agreed that Mary deserves to be honoured, but you haven’t been able to give an example of how you or your congregation does this. Do you mind if I make a suggestion?

Pete: I’m not praying the rosary!

Catherine: Hahah…no, I wasn’t going to suggest that. How about you ask your pastor to preach a sermon on the life of the Lord’s mother? Mary said and did a lot of beautiful things. She said “…be it done unto me according to your word” (Luke 1:38)… “Do whatever He tells you” (John 2:5)…there’s lots of great material there, all right out of the Bible…

Pete: Sure, I guess I could…

Catherine: …and maybe you could think about the way you speak of her?

Pete: I’m not calling her “Mother of God”.

Catherine: I wasn’t going to suggest that, even though there’s a good reason why you might call her that. No, what I was going to suggest is that you fulfill her prophesy whenever you speak of her…

Pete: How?

Catherine: By referring to her as “Blessed Mary”.

Pete: I dunno, that might be weird…

Catherine: C’mon! It’s right there in Luke’s Gospel…

Pete: Well, I suppose…  I still think Catholics commit excess with regards to Mary, though…

Catherine: With regards to whom, sorry?

[grins]

Pete: Ugh….fine! I still think Catholics commit excess with regards to Blessed Mary…

Catherine: Now doesn’t that sound better? heheh…

Listen, there are lots of things Catholics can learn from Protestants about living the Christian life: personal prayer, Scripture study and so on…but maybe you guys can learn something from us?

Mary…Blessed Mary was given this supreme honour by God and was honoured perfectly her entire life by Jesus. The Catholic Church just tries to imitate the Lord in doing the same.

Pete: Hmm…okay…

Catherine: And, hey, if you think we don’t honour Mary correctly, here’s my challenge: show us how it’s done right. Okay, I have to go now I’m afraid!

Pete: ‘Bye

Catherine:  I’ll be offering my rosary for you tonight!

Pete: You Catholics…

I often find that almost all Christians would say that Mary and the Saints should be honoured, but when pressed on this point, it is rare to find any concrete way this is manifested in their devotional lives.

The reason why I like this approach is that it can start to build up a basic appreciation for Mary which is typically completely absent within many Protestant congregations. I was a member of a Protestant congregation for several years and Mary was never mentioned, except at Christmas, and only then because it’s hard to talk about a child being born without at least mentioning (albeit briefly) that there’s a mother involved somewhere!

My purpose in an exchange like the one above is not to prove every single Marian doctrine, but to simply get someone thinking about how they might honour her. During my anti-Mary days, my change of heart began when I started referring to her as “Blessed Mary”, honouring her in the most Biblical way I knew how.

It is truly right and just to bless thee, O Theotokos, ever blessed, and most pure, and the Mother of our God.
More honorable than the cherubim, and beyond compare more glorious than the seraphim.
Without corruption thou gavest birth to God the Word.
True Theotokos, we magnify thee. – Byzantine Hymn