Desert Fathers: Crown of Temptation
A hermit said that for nine years a brother was goaded by his thoughts to despair of his salvation. He judged himself and said, “I have ruined myself, I have perished already, I will go back to the world.” On his journey he heard a voice saying, “Those temptations which you endured for nine years were your crowns. Go back to your cell, and I will take these evil thoughts from you.” So he realized that it is not right to despair of oneself because of the temptations that come. If we use these thoughts well they will give us a crown.
– De vitis Patrum, Sive Verba Seniorum, Liber V