Temple of Friendship

Today I’d like to ramble a little bit about the subject of “friendship” as it has been on my mind recently. In fact, one of my New Year Resolutions this year was as follows:

Resolution #6. Invest more time in friendships
I have some really good friends. I should spend more time with them.

This was inspired by one of my favourite Bible pages from the Deuterocanon:

Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant.
When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him.
For one sort is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress.
…
A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure.
A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth.
A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds;
For he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself.

– Sirach 6:6-17

The Temple of Friendship

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the subject of friendship has been on my mind and, because of this, it has come up quite a bit in conversation. During recent discussions I’ve spoken about friendship in terms of the Jerusalem Temple…

I know, I know, it’s a bit odd…but I guess I’m a bit of a Bible geek and this is just how my mind works…

Anyway, as can be seen from the above picture, the Temple in Jerusalem contained a series of different courts, one inside the other. The outer court was the largest and known as the “Court of the Gentiles”. No Gentile was allowed, under pain of death, to advance beyond this court. Only Jews were allowed to venture beyond, first the “Court of the Women” and then the “Court of the Men”. The next area was known as “The Holy Place”, where the priest would offer incense to the Lord. Finally, beyond that was “The Holy of Holies”, the place into which only the High Priest could go, once a year on Yom Kippur and after the shedding blood in sacrifice.

As one travelled from the outside to the centre, the courts became smaller, more intimate and access rarer.  This is how I view friendship. In this analogy the “Court of the Gentiles” would represent acquaintances. There are many, but there is little intimacy. Only a smaller number are allowed to enter into the more intimate courts. To enter “The Holy of Holies” requires time, and quite possibly the shedding of blood! 😉 In the words of Sirach “Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant”.

Friends along the way

In my life as a Restless Pilgrim, I’ve moved around quite a bit, both here in the States and back in England. I have never ceased to be surprised by the friends I make in different places.

During my absence, some of the friends I leave behind really make an effort to stay in touch, while others appear to make none. When visiting a place where I’ve previously lived I am often caught off guard by the different reactions to my return. Some friends, with whom I did not think I was that close, make a big fuss and are eager to catch up, whereas sometimes those whom I thought were closer friends, don’t seem very bothered that I’m back. Friendship really is a funny old thing…

Here in San Diego, I’m fortunate to have some really solid friends and I’m extremely grateful to have them in my life. They have indeed been a “sturdy shelter” during the ups and downs of the last few years. I know I’m not the easiest of characters. I’m often uncommunicative when it comes to what’s going on inside my head. If you hang around me for long then I’m liable to correct your grammar. I get grumpy easily. I really like cheesy jokes and puns. I tut and roll my eyes a lot. I don’t often admit I’m wrong. Against a roster of these and other character flaws, I’m fortunate to have some friends who, in the words of Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, “make me want to be a better man”.