{"id":6707,"date":"2013-08-13T07:00:27","date_gmt":"2013-08-13T14:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/?p=6707"},"modified":"2017-03-05T18:37:37","modified_gmt":"2017-03-06T01:37:37","slug":"dating-no-hurry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/13\/dating-no-hurry\/","title":{"rendered":"Catholic Dating: True love waits…and waits…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"In this series I’m trying to examine some of the issues and problems within the Catholic dating world. However, before I get underway with today’s post I would like very briefly to reply to an important question which was raised in response to an earlier post.\u00a0The question was asked, is there actually even a problem here to address?!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I would suggest that we do indeed have a problem. In addition to anecdotal evidence, there is statistical data to demonstrate that there are\u00a0fewer and fewer marriages taking place today, even among practising Catholics:<\/p>\n

\"Marriage-trends\"<\/p>\n

This decline has far reaching consequences, both for Catholic schools and parishes, as well as for Catholic culture and the Church’s witness to the world. If you would like to read about this further then I would recommend this article<\/a> by Msgr. Pope.<\/p>\n

Choice and Commitment<\/h2>\n

So with that issue addressed, let’s return<\/a> to the main question of this series: why aren’t more Catholic guys asking girls out on dates?\u00a0One possible answer might be because\u00a0many guys are\u00a0in no hurry to settle down<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Society today praises choice. With regards to commitment, we are urged to be cautious:\u00a0“Don’t commit yourself!”,\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/em>“Someone better might be just around the corner!”,\u00a0<\/span><\/em>“Leave yourself an escape!”<\/span><\/em>. I would suggest that, because of this, some<\/em> guys refrain from dating in a misguided attempt to keep their options open<\/a> (there is a related\u00a0dynamic here on the part of the ladies, but I plan to deal with that in a later post).<\/p>\n

To make matters worse, do we sometimes hear a message from the Church that can sound somewhat similar<\/em>? In the Catholic Church, marriage is a Sacrament, something serious, important, binding and lifelong. We are therefore often urged to move with great caution. Additionally, with broken marriages all around us, isn’t it sensible to be extremely careful in selecting a future spouse?<\/p>\n

I think there is good sense in caution, but have we gone too far? Are we encouraged to wait too long<\/em><\/a>?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Extended Adolescence<\/h2>\n

Today’s society has some “interesting” lessons for young adults, particularly for men. I would suggest that men are not forced to grow up in the way they were in previous generations. Previously, the path into adulthood was fairly clearly defined: education, occupation, marriage and then kids.<\/p>\n

However, now\u00a0adolescence\u00a0is extended well into a guy’s twenties and thirties. During these years he can continue to behave like a teenager, but with the advantage of having a disposable income and no parental supervision! Whereas in the past he might have put his first paycheck towards an engagement ring, his fianc\u00e9e’s\u00a0wedding dress or a house deposit, he now puts it towards a new X-Box for himself.<\/p>\n

I would like to make it extremely clear that the above description certainly does not hold true for many of the excellent men of my acquaintance. However, I would submit that the behaviour I’m describing is far from rare.<\/p>\n

\"Men\"<\/p>\n

As well as there being far less societal pressure to find a wife, biology is also on the man’s side since he is able to sire children for many years to come. This is a luxury that women, unfortunately, do not have.<\/p>\n

Catalyst for change<\/h2>\n

What is to be done about this? Although this is a complicated issue in society at large, I think that it could be more easily remedied by those who are already married.<\/p>\n

If those who are husbands got alongside their single male friends, they could be a real catalyst for change. This is because those who have already received the Sacrament of Matrimony are in the best position to show to others the joy that is to be found there. For example, a while ago a friend of mine wrote to me these words:<\/p>\n

“I cannot begin to express how blessed I am to be married to [my wife]. God had already blessed me in life and in marriage He has heaped blessings on top of blessings. She fills my heart with…joy…laughter and loves me abundantly. And now I have the profound joy to share with her God’s gift of new life in [our children], …a great joy and blessing”<\/span><\/p>\n

How encouraging is that?! I have another married friend who is\u00a0constantly<\/em>\u00a0telling me to hurry up,\u00a0find a nice girl<\/a>\u00a0and get married.\u00a0He says that, once I’ve done this, I’ll finally<\/em> be able to be as happy as he is! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

The article Catholic Dating: True love waits…and waits…<\/a> first appeared on RestlessPilgirm.net<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In this series I’m trying to examine some of the issues and problems within the Catholic dating world. However, before I get underway with today’s post I would like very briefly to reply to an important question which was raised in response to an earlier post.\u00a0The question was asked, is there actually even a problem here to address?! I would<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[2324,330,2969,95,2345,1972],"class_list":["post-6707","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-faith","tag-catholic-dating","tag-dating","tag-featured","tag-marriage","tag-maturity","tag-society"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6707","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6707"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6707\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":64209,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6707\/revisions\/64209"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6707"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6707"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6707"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}