{"id":60438,"date":"2016-01-19T15:00:39","date_gmt":"2016-01-19T22:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/?p=60438"},"modified":"2016-01-20T04:18:54","modified_gmt":"2016-01-20T11:18:54","slug":"head-back-to-sunday-school-colbert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/2016\/01\/19\/head-back-to-sunday-school-colbert\/","title":{"rendered":"Head back to Sunday School, Colbert&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>On <a href=\"http:\/\/catholicmemes.com\/video\/video-catholic-throwdown-stephen-colbert-and-patricia-heaton\/#comments\" target=\"_blank\">Catholic Memes<\/a>, I just saw a video where Stephen Colbert challenged\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/2011\/06\/30\/colbert-catholic-throwdown\/\" target=\"_blank\">another celebrity<\/a>\u00a0to a Catholic throwdown. This time his opponent\u00a0was Patricia Heaton, star of <em>&#8220;Everybody loves Raymond&#8221;<\/em> and <em>&#8220;The Middle&#8221;<\/em>:<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"860\" height=\"484\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/cIIxYLyUTC8?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Oh Stephen&#8230;you disappoint me.<\/p>\n<p>I counted at least <strong>three major Catholic mistakes<\/strong>\u00a0in this throwdown, three<em> &#8220;maxima culpas&#8221;<\/em>, if you will. So\u00a0get out your sackcloth and ashes, and let me\u00a0I teach you something about the Catholic Faith&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<h3>Saints Preserve Us!<\/h3>\n<p>The first mistake was that you\u00a0said there&#8217;s <strong>no St. Patricia<\/strong>. Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, &#8230;.<em>sigh<\/em>&#8230;are you forgetting\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Patricia_of_Naples\" target=\"_blank\">St. Patricia of Naples<\/a> from the 7th Century?<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-60472\" src=\"http:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/IMG_3693.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_3693\" width=\"800\" height=\"586\" srcset=\"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/IMG_3693.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/IMG_3693-300x220.jpg 300w, https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/IMG_3693-768x562.jpg 768w, https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/IMG_3693-600x439.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Of course, the real sin here is that your guest didn&#8217;t pick you up on this! C&#8217;mon Patricia, when do you celebrate your feast day?! I may have to have\u00a0words with your Confessor about this&#8230;<\/p>\n<h3>Know your mom, son!<\/h3>\n<p>The second problem came, Stephen, when you tried to list the <strong>the nine major approved Marian apparitions<\/strong>. You got two out of nine, which I&#8217;m afraid isn&#8217;t very good. In case you were wondering, the nine\u00a0apparitions are as follows:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Guadalupe in Mexico<\/li>\n<li>Rue du Bac, Paris, France<\/li>\n<li>La Salette, France<\/li>\n<li>Lourdes, France<\/li>\n<li>Pontmain, France<\/li>\n<li>Knock, Ireland<\/li>\n<li>Fatima, Portugal<\/li>\n<li>Beauraing, Belgium<\/li>\n<li>Banneux, Belgium<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>However, the real problem was that you said\u00a0&#8220;Medjugorje&#8221; as one of your answers. You got away with it on the show, but you&#8217;ll notice that Medjugorje is not listed above\u00a0as one of the\u00a0nine, since\u00a0it&#8217;s not officially approved.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-60479\" src=\"http:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Penguin.jpg\" alt=\"Penguin\" width=\"800\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Penguin.jpg 720w, https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Penguin-300x168.jpg 300w, https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Penguin-600x335.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>Poor Assumptions<\/h3>\n<p>The final\u00a0mistake in the throwdown was your assertion that<em><span style=\"color: #000080\"> <strong>&#8220;Mary&#8230;did not die a mortal death&#8221;<\/strong><\/span><\/em>. You could forgive a Sunday School student for getting this one wrong, but I expect a little more from a ninja Catholic like yourself, Stephen&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You see, the wording of\u00a0Pope Pius XII&#8217;s dogmatic declaration concerning the Assumption\u00a0is as follows:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><em><span style=\"color: #000080\">&#8220;&#8230;we pronounce, declare, and define it to be a divinely revealed dogma: that the Immaculate Mother of God, the ever Virgin Mary, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">having completed the course of her earthly life<\/span>, was assumed body and soul into heavenly glory&#8221;<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #000080\">&#8211; Pope Pius XII, Munificentissimus Deus<\/span><\/p>\n<p>The text simply says that she<span style=\"color: #000080\"><em> &#8220;completed the course of her earthly life&#8221;<\/em><\/span>. This is somewhat ambiguous, but if you read the rest of the document you&#8217;ll see that the Pope gives three citations, all of which point towards a natural, mortal death:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><strong>1. The Byzantine Liturgy<\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000080\"><em>&#8220;As he kept you a virgin in childbirth, thus he has kept your <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">body incorrupt\u00a0in the tomb<\/span>\u00a0and has glorified it by his divine act of transferring it from the tomb.&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><span style=\"color: #000000\"><em><strong>2. Pope Adrian I<\/strong><\/em><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000080\"><em>&#8220;&#8230;the holy Mother of God\u00a0<span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">suffered temporal death<\/span>, but still could not be kept down by the bonds of death&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px\"><strong>3. Saint Modestus<\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color: #000080\"><em>&#8220;As the most glorious Mother of Christ&#8230;she has received an eternal incorruptibility of the body together with him who has <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">raised her up\u00a0from the tomb<\/span>\u00a0and has taken her up to himself in a way known only to him.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>This is clearly shown\u00a0in icons of the Dormition in the Eastern Churches:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-60451\" src=\"http:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Dormition.jpg\" alt=\"Dormition\" width=\"800\" height=\"596\" srcset=\"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Dormition.jpg 640w, https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Dormition-300x224.jpg 300w, https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Dormition-600x447.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>So there you go Stephen, I hope this helps. Oh, and Stephen? When you&#8217;re ready to play with the big boys, please give me a call&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On Catholic Memes, I just saw a video where Stephen Colbert challenged\u00a0another celebrity\u00a0to a Catholic throwdown. This time his opponent\u00a0was Patricia Heaton, star of &#8220;Everybody loves Raymond&#8221; and &#8220;The Middle&#8221;: Oh Stephen&#8230;you disappoint me. I counted at least three major Catholic mistakes\u00a0in this throwdown, three &#8220;maxima culpas&#8221;, if you will. So\u00a0get out your sackcloth and ashes, and let me\u00a0I teach<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":60443,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[1406,3535,2764,2969,2640,3534,2242],"class_list":["post-60438","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith","tag-assumption","tag-catholic-throwdown","tag-dormition","tag-featured","tag-mary","tag-patricia-heaton","tag-stephen-colbert"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Stephen.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60438","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=60438"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60438\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":60482,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60438\/revisions\/60482"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/60443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=60438"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=60438"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/restlesspilgrim.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=60438"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}