Category: Humour

I recently came across a Facebook Group called “Calvinism: The Group That Chooses You”, which made me chuckle because Calvinism is known for its emphasis on God’s sovereign choice. “Five Point” Calvinists often express their beliefs using the acronym TULIP:

Total Depravity
Man is an enemy of God and has no ability to save himself

Unconditional Election:
God does not choose whom He will save based on anything He sees in the individual

Limited Atonement
Jesus only died for those He saves

Irresistible Grace
If God saves you, you can’t resist His grace

Perseverance of the Saints
Once saved, always saved

I thought I would do the Facebook group a favour and come up with some appropriate rules so that they fully embrace five-point Calvinism:

Point 1. You have no natural ability to join this group

Point 2. The Admin will decide if you are added

Point 3. Non-members cannot join

Point 4. Facebook security cannot block you from being added

Point 5. You will never be able to unsubscribe