Restless Heart: Episode 4 (“Is there life before marriage?”)



This past week, I gave at talk to the Goretti Group entitled “Is there life before marriage?” In today’s episode, Nessa and talk about some of the issues I raised in that talk. Do some people derive their self-worth from their Facebook “Relationship Status”? What are some common misunderstandings concerning marriage? We then look at the subject friendships, the first area which I suggest deserves careful investment during your single years.

Episode 4: Is there life before marriage? (Download)

If you would like to listen to my original talk I gave to the Goretti Group, it is available here. The Bible passage I quote at the end of the episode is this section from Sirach:

Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant.
When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him.
For one sort is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure.
A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth.
A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds;
For he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself.

– Sirach 6:6-17

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Goretti Talk: Is there life before marriage?



Last night I gave a talk for The Goretti Group. This was a variation on a talk I gave at the Southern Kansas Young Adult Conference.

Is there life before marriage? (Download)

I’ve written a couple of articles for the Goretti Group in the past which you might like to read: Dear Miss Lawrence and “I waited until my wedding night to lose my virginity and I wish I hadn’t”.

Is there life before marriage? (MP3)



So this past weekend I was at the Southern Kansas Young Adult Conference (SKYAC). I gave a few talks on the retreat, which I’ll post here over the next couple of days.

The afternoon opened up with a talk on relationships from the magnificently-bearded Dave DiNuzzo (“Relationship Martyrdom vs Relationship Suicide”).

Following Dave’s presentation, the married couples on the retreat had their own breakout talk, but all those without wedding rings on their fingers were sent to another room to listen to…me! In my talk, I tried to answer the all-important question…is there life before marriage?

“Is there life before marriage?” (Download)

Catholic Dating: The issue of chastity


Last week I wrote two posts on the subject of dating outside of the Catholic Faith. In an effort to keep those posts focussed, I had decided to address the specific scenario of a couple composed of two Christians, a Catholic and a Protestant.

However, as I was writing, there was one issue related to dating outside of the Catholic Faith that I particularly wanted to raise, but since it didn’t naturally fall within the parameters which I had set for those articles, I decided to omit it. In today’s brief post, therefore, I would like to return to this issue.

In the previous post, I presented three main areas for potential conflict between a Catholic and a Protestant:

1. The Wedding

2. Religious Practice

3. Children and family life

In addition to these three areas, when a Catholic dates a non-Christian (as opposed to a non-Catholic), there is another area of potential conflict which is particularly worth considering:

4. Chastity
Is your potential spouse committed to chastity? Will this person do everything possible to help you remain chaste?

It is worth pointing out that potential contention over the subject of chastity is certainly not limited to the situation where a Catholic is dating a non-Christian. It is possible that conflict may arise when dating a Protestant or, as I highlighted in my previous post, even a fellow Catholic. There is no guarantee that someone who identifies as “Catholic” actually will believe or practise the entirety of the Catholic Faith.

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Catholic Dating: Should I date a non-Catholic? (Part 1)


It has been quite some time since I wrote my series on Catholic dating. Those articles were certainly among the more popular here at Restless Pilgrim. The subject matter of those posts generated considerable discussion in my local Catholic community of San Diego, which pleased me no end since this was my main goal in writing them in the first place. The fact that it was also an extremely cathartic writing experience was just an added bonus! 😉

During the intervening three years since writing that series, my own love life has been, to put it mildly, anything but dull. Despite this, I’ve never felt inclined to write further on the subject of dating. That is, until now…


Over the past few months one particular question concerning dating has come up again and again, particularly as my thoughtful friends attempt to marry me off and enlist me in the ranks of the blissfully domesticated. The question has been “Hey David, what do you think about dating a non-Catholic?”

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Music Monday: Broken Together

While I was in the car the other day I got to listen to my Casting Crowns collection. Here’s one of the more somber tracks, “Broken Together”, from their latest album, “Thrive”:

What do you think about when you look at me
I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night?

It’s going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I we’re never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we’ll last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we won’t give up the fight

FYI, we’ll be taking a bit of a break from Contemporary Christian Music for the next few weeks and digging back into some of the classics…

Discussions about marriage


Facebook continues to buzz with threads discussing the SCOTUS decision concerning same-sex marriage. I have engaged in some of these online discussions but I’ve continued to find them disappointing. As I pointed out in my earlier post, I’ve found the level of argumentation displayed in these exchanges typically to be rather low. I’ve found that even to call into question the soundness of the SCOTUS decision is to simply invite a tirade of abuse and name-calling.

There have, however, been a few occasions where the exchanges have more closely resembled a dialogue. As I’ve previously written, when involved in apologetics, I try to be socratic in my approach, mainly restricting myself to asking questions. Today’s post is simply to share the kinds of questions I typically ask when discussing the subject of same-sex marriage…


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